View from my window: Sally Stockwell on her new show We’ve Got So Much to Talk About

I am sitting in The Dojo near the Basement Theatre and looking out from two large apartment windows. The white strips are interwoven to create a grid. Outside I can see two posters stuck to the walls.
The side of posts: one for Meremere, directed Malia Johnston; the other for Long Day’s Journey Into Night by Eugene O’Neill.

My own work, “We’ve got so much to talk about,” premieres here on august 16. It is a mix-up of electronic sound and song, movement, and rebellion. The songs are woven together with songs I’ve written over the past eight years.

We live in a highly personal and subversive patriarchal society. The show delve deeper into patriarchal control concepts and the conflict that is at the heart motherhood.

My background is in theatre (I studied at Toi Whakaari in Wellington in the mid-90s) but I have always had an interest in multidisciplinary works–theatre that weaves together modes of music, live sound, movement and text.

We’ve got so much to talk about combines these elements with an exploration of the juggle between artistry and motherhood, as well the complexities of feministism.

Florence, 8 years old, and Olivia, 6, are my children. My debut album Weightless, which was my only album, was recorded while I was pregnant with Florence. It was published when Florence was six months old. Although I took a professional break after the release, I continued to write songs. My music has always represented my world. These songs explored my motherhood experience.

This was the moment I felt completely lost. I began to question my creativity, career and my place in this world. I started to wonder if I could be 100% happy in this world and if motherhood was enough. I began to read a lot of feminist works about motherhood and society’s expectations of women.

Kim Hill interviewed Emily Nagoski. Her book Burnout explores the obligations that are assigned to women by the patriarchy, these stereotypical ideals – to be the perfect mother, hold on to a career – without the close-knit communities that women had in previous decades. It was astonishing. There are so many contradictions–the sense of duty, ancient expectations around motherhood, ideals around career–that she explores in her book.

Psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott was another influence at this time. He believed that a mother should be “good enough” and it was interesting that he coined the phrase. This theory holds that perfection is impossible, and that children’s imperfections are not harmful. It is enough to be “good enough”.

Although I was unable to include all of the songs that I wrote during this period, Far and Wide will be featured in the show. It channels Patti Smith and it’s about the feeling of really wanting to get away … “to run into the night, into the storm, into the sea” … without my children having any sense of abandonment. It is a constant agitation which can’t be fixed.

The premiere of We’ve got so much to talk about was scheduled for October last year. We went into lockdown at level 4 in August after rehearsals had been scheduled for September and August.

We were all living week-to–week, checking Jacinda’s updates, and waiting to find out if we could get together for rehearsals. Julia Harvie, our amazing director, lives in Christchurch. We were looking at traffic lights and waiting to see if we could meet her.

It was stressful and I felt a lot of brain fatigue. The permutations of performing and organizing a show for Covid-19 were very complex. Everyone is grateful to be doing this after months of being without work. But it’s still hard. Julia’s children had Covid before rehearsals started, so she had to work remotely. But we are getting there.

The year’s hiatus turned out to be a blessing. I’ve been able to produce more music and my work has improved. It’s nice to know that there is a silver-lining.

Joanna Mathers, as told

Basement Theatre, August 16-20: We Have So Much To Talk About