Parenting can be challenging in its own right. You can add Post Traumatic Stress Disorder It elevates the situation to (PTSD). PTSD isn’t just for soldiers. It has been around since the dawn of time.
According to the US Department of Veterans Affairs, PTSD has been added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1980 (DSM-III) By the American Psychiatric Association (APA). The difference was that it was not referring to trauma within the person but something happening around them.
How To Co-Parent When Both You & Your Ex Have Strong Head-Butting Beliefs
Possible Causes of PTSD from an Ex
The reasons why someone might suffer from PTSD from their ex can vary from one person to another and from relationship to relationship. The one thing that remains constant is that if someone hurts, it is their pain. Nobody has the right or the obligation to give them a timeline for their grief.
This could include an array of bizarre behaviors that a person uses words or actions to intimidate, manipulate and take full control of another person. To isolate someone, they might use name-calling and insulting to make them feel inferior.
- Physical abuse: A form or domestic violence.
This could include hitting, kicking and burning, hair pulling, strangling, suffocating, and suffocating. Physical abuse can also include being thrown against the wall, intentionally pushing, or tripping over so that the person is hurt.
- Sexual Abuse: A form or domestic violence.
One example would be forcing someone to have sexual relations against their will. Another example would be forcing someone else to have sexual relations.
Establishing a Parenting Plan with Your Abusive Ex
Parents need to visit court before doing anything. Central Arkansas Group Counseling states that parents are often ordered to co-parent. Regardless Domestic violence between them. Although there may be situations in which this might not be possible, the courts prefer to have both parents involved for the sake of the child.
Talking to a former abuser can be difficult. It can feel like the victim is replaying the trauma over and again. A child is watching and needs to feel safe.
Set Boundaries Between You & Your Abuser
Abusers are manipulative and will try to get what they want. Understanding the rights of parents and setting firm boundaries can help mothers to feel safe and protected. Their abuser may be a charmer and manages to win them over with his malarkey, making the victim feel guilty and so they give up..
Different forms of harassment can be controlled by setting boundaries.
- Communication time and hours
- Methods of communication between parents (they don’t just have to show up)
- When the child is not in the care of one parent, methods for communication between them.
Keep your distance in order to remain safe. If it makes it more convenient, drop-offs or pick-ups may be held in public places. The more children see their parents as comfortable, they are likely to feel better about everything. A victim who is afraid will be scared too.
Report breaches of court orders
It is important for victims to keep notes. Although it may seem insignificant or small, little things can add up to large things. These should include dates, times, and small details.
- Pick-ups may be delayed
- Drop-offs should be done early
- Visitation can be canceled completely
- Do you want to change or swap times?
- Anything that they or their child find offending
All of this information can be reported directly to the court. Mediation can be established to help the ex follow up on their obligations. They could also be found in contempt.
There are other challenges to consider when you have an abusive ex
Sage Journals states that men who are controlling in marriage and remain involved with their children after divorce continue to exercise control over their mothers. Women managed conflict and set boundaries in order to resist control in the face of constant fear.
Victims can see the potential of their ex. They are more likely to be terrified by the idea of appearing in mediation or in court. They should always keep their child at the forefront of their minds during times of anxiety. They are doing it for them. Their ex wants them to be broken like so many other times.
Truthfully, victims may find it easier to give up on their child than to work hard to resolve the situation. They should always remember their child. They are fighting for their child and are the only ones that can.
Victims should be aware of the words they speak to their children. It is crucial that victims do not make a bad impression of their abusers in front of their children. Children should not be put in the middle.
Pay attention to the toxic traits of abusers that could lead to them.
- Talking badly about the victim to the child
- The child is being told lies about the past
- To undermine the victim
Victims must communicate openly, honestly, and love with their children. Giving them priority is key. Children are far more aware than you might think. Children are more aware than they think, and they will become more open to the truth as they get older.
Help is available for anyone who is suffering from abuse or is in a traumatizing situation.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be reached 24/7: 800-799-7233
Text START to 88788
US Department of Veterans Affairs