According to a new study, the best way to co-parent is to communicate only about parenting or children. Although co-parenting can be difficult, most parents agree that it is necessary for the benefit of their children. They try to make it as peaceful as possible.
But this can be difficult for some couples. Even though they know that communication is important, they don’t know where to start. Experts and studies may be helpful in guiding them on how to parent together.
Medical Xpress claims that Research has shown that children and parenting are the most important aspects of healthy communication after divorce.. This study was performed by West Virginia UniversityIt can be found here.
The lead authors are Jonathon Beckmeyer and Jessica Troila, and they stated that there can be such a thing as “too much” communication between two parents who are divorced. This was proven by a study of 708 divorcing parents with children younger than 18 years.
They found that too much “innocuous” talk between divorced co-parents can put the well-being of their children at risk. According to them, couples should limit their communication to parenting issues and shared parenting. This means no talking about current dating lives, personal issues that don’t involve children or the latest politics.
They all agreed that communication was essential for co-parents. But, there can be too many and it can become excessively frequent. What they call “overshares” can be harmful to individuals who are still adjusting to who they are outside the couple, or they could use this communication to create control and conflict, and that is why it is always best to be avoided all together.
The researchers found that children who displayed behaviors like fighting or lying, cheating, feeling sad and fearful were caused by their parents communicating too much about non-parental matters.
Children with co-parents who kept the conversation going to parenting had better behavior and emotions. Divorce is complex. Studies like these are only the beginning of understanding what is best for children of divorcing parents.
Sources: Medical Xpress and SAGE Journals