Everyone is a critic, as if life weren’t difficult enough. What about Disney adults? Haters claim they must grow up. Are working moms a good idea? Selfish. Stay-at-home moms? Lazy. Parents who consume an extra glass at dinner. Irresponsible. No matter what you do, or how you get through the week. Someone is going to judge you. If you try to suggest that you’re making a grown-up Christmas wish list, you’ll likely get lots of feedback from those judgy judges.
Although it is easy to ignore negative comments from Sharon at PTA, or from an old high school acquaintance on Facebook with many opinions, it can be more difficult to drown it all out from your own family members and friends. Consider your Christmas list. You are inclined to make one. Why? You won’t get a mug you don’t use anymore or a vacuum that you didn’t request. Brad.
But is it too much to ask for grown-up wishes? Holiday minimalism is being replaced by maximalism. This means that people are more inclined to give thoughtful and meaningful gifts. It doesn’t seem wrong for someone to spend their hard-earned holiday money on you. Make sure they know they’re getting something they’ll actually use. Is it okay to gently push your gift-giving relatives towards presents that you truly want?
Survey says: Yes — within reason.
Mothers Weigh in
Scary Mommy asked mothers from across the U.S. to give their honest opinions and share their Christmas wishes. Bonus: These are some brilliant ideas that you may not have thought of.
All the Yays
Although a mother-in-law who is not averse to wish lists might be a bit sceptical, Scary Mommy talked with many mamas who said that wish lists have been a great way to improve the lives of their families. It takes the stress out for extended families that might be able to exchange gifts, but may not be close enough to decide what they would appreciate. You also get to avoid cringe-worthy moments. (Remember that Peloton commercial?)
Carla B, a Beaverton mom, says that lists are essential if you’re doing a gift exchange with adults. You don’t want the same items again, and people have specific hobbies or requirements that you need that information. Gifts as an adult are not something I like. If asked, I will answer the question with what I need. However, I prefer that they send something for my kids.
Even if you love to receive gifts, it can be hard to ask for what you want. For wanting to be a mom, society has shamed them for decades. Anything This can be very stressful. You don’t want someone suggesting you want a present more than you actually want. Although it seems absurd, there are always people who will do what you ask.
It is possible to avoid awkwardness when we ask each other for our wish lists. Sarah M. is a mom from New Orleans. Her mother does exactly this. She says that her mom compiles a simple family list every October: a wish, a need for, a wear and a read. “It’s an interesting way to gauge the interest of everyone for the current year.
Wish lists don’t only serve as a useful tool during gift-giving season. It’s a great way to stay organized all year long by keeping a list of what you need and what your children want/need.
Sarah S., San Diego, California says, “I keep Amazon Wish Lists updated all year, one each for each kid, one myself and one for household/family want and needs.” “It’s very handy for Christmas and birthdays. This is especially important when you consider clothing sizes and what your kids like. All Grandparents and other relatives reside in different states. My MIL has been unable to buy me pink gloves or gold jewelry, which has mostly stopped her from doing so. Although I don’t expect anything, it is nice to receive something you like and can use when you need it.”
A wish list can be useful:
- You can give your family/friends gift ideas that are affordable and suitable for all budgets.
- You should not have another unopened candle/mug/gift certificate in your collection.
- Rejoice in a moment full of deep gratitude.
- It’s a great starting point for gift-givers looking to create their own presents.
Old School Sensibilities Speak “Nay!”
However, not everyone is ready to join the wish list train. Some recipients prefer to receive something personal and meaningful that was made just for them by a loved one. It’s supposed to be more than gift-giving. It is possible to lose sight of the more personal moments of the holidays by giving out wish list items.
“I am always around my daughter-in law and grandkids.” Ruth H., a Falmouth, Kentucky grandma, says that she doesn’t need a wish list. I don’t think shopping for gifts takes the fun out.
How to Make A Wish List
Online wish lists seem to be primarily for weddings and babies. You have many options when it comes to creating a wish-list for birthdays or holidays.
1. Use Elfster
“I arrive prepared with a list that I created on Elfster!” Jess B. is from Los Angeles. “My list includes items starting at $5 and up to more expensive items that I add to my husband’s to buy me. It was only last year that I was introduced to it. It’s possible to add items from all sites, and there is even an option for secret Santa-type swaps.
2. Amazon Lists
Amazon allows you to create unlimited lists. You can also add notes and prioritize items. They are great for keeping you organized while window shopping and to pass on to your loved ones.
3. Print a List and Go Old School
Alyssa H. from San Diego, California shares that every year my husband and me create PDFs of our adult Christmas lists. These include hyperlinks, product photos and sizes as well as prices. It’s sent to our parents and step-parents as well as us. It makes life so much easier! My son and mine also share the same birthday which falls 10 days after Christmas. We love this time of year because it’s easy!
How to Share a List of Wishes
It can be a little awkward to openly share your wish list without being asked. You might be a bit embarrassed to share your wish list unprompted. It’s much easier than you might think. These are just a few suggestions to help you get started.
- Ask Everyone To exchange wish lists
- Have a whole family wish list with names in the comments — everyone always asks you what the kids or the partner want, anyway.
- It can be called a shopping list. If someone asks what you want, respond with “Can you just send me my shopping list?”
- Make your wishlist public. You know who you feel comfortable sharing your wishlist with and who not. You should make sure that the list you share is visible to your mom, best friend, or partner so that they can share it easily with others.
The Final Verdict
You do you. It’s okay to ask for what it is you want. If they didn’t want you to have something you love and are happy with, they wouldn’t have asked. You don’t have to share your holiday wish list immediately. Think of it as an opportunity to save time, energy, brain power, and money for another mom this holiday season.