Samantha Hayes reveals her heartbreaking parenting moment: Queens’ death call-up

Samantha Hayes, a broadcasting star, knew from the beginning that having two children would be a challenge.

Assisting another baby in the mix, while she continues her high-profile position as Newshub presenter has certainly added another layer to her and fiancé Jay Blaauw’s juggle. As Sam and her kids Marlow, three, and Amaya (one), join us at our special, Woman’s Day photo shoot on a dreary Auckland day, it’s clear the journalist is right where she wants to be.

“Amaya really has been a dream baby,” says Sam, 38, reflecting on her little ray of sunshine’s first year. “She sleeps 12 hours most nights, eats anything you put in front of her and is the happiest little thing. She loves her big brother and smiles everywhere she goes.

“I have these moments where I look at the two of them together and just can’t believe how cute they are – and how lucky I am to be their mum.”

It’s been a huge year for the newsreader, who hit the ground running after returning to work from maternity leave in January, when Amaya was 4 months old. She spent an unforgettable 10 days in the UK covering the death of the Queen, fronting Newshub’s coverage as part of a team of 14. As she recalls her unforgettable experience, she still finds it hard to believe that she actually did it.

“It’s one of the most historically important events to happen in our lifetime, so to be able to cover it was an absolute privilege,” tells Sam. “We all had these moments of total awe. For me, it was the day of the funeral and we were set up outside Westminster Abbey on this huge scaffolding for the world’s media to broadcast from.

“All the pomp and pageantry unfolded in front of us with soldiers on horses in their full regalia, marching bands and security everywhere. I witnessed Joe Biden, US President, arrive along with many other world leaders.

“It was surreal. I remember thinking how extraordinary it was to be there for that, but I also took a moment to recognise the power of this extraordinary woman – who else on this earth could have commanded such a turnout?”

Marlow and Amaya left behind by their loving mom was the hardest thing she had ever done. Amaya turned one on 17 September, and Marlow turned three days later. While Sam’s mum Sheena flew up from her home in Milton, South Otago, to help technology consultant Jay, 39, hold down the fort in Auckland, Sam admits she felt terrible “mum guilt” about missing their special days.

She recalls: “One of the first things Jay said to me when I got the call that the Queen had died and I had to get to London was, ‘You’ll miss the kids’ birthdays.’ My heart sank. I was so sad because we’d been so looking forward to finally having a party and celebrating after Covid. But at the same time, this is the nature of my job and there wasn’t a moment when I considered not going.”

Sam called home each morning and night, and took comfort in knowing Jay and the kids would sit down every evening to watch “Mummy on the news”. She says, “Knowing they were tuning in made me feel connected to them.”

Marlow, a beloved friend and mentor of Amaya, was able to understand what was happening even though she was too young to comprehend where her mom was. Peppa Pig episode, where the children’s character visits Buckingham Palace. “Marlow was telling everyone I was at ‘Buckaling Paris’ with the Queen and he absolutely loved seeing where I was when I called each day.

“I’d give him tours of my London hotel room, and tell him what I’d been doing, where I’d been and even what I’d been eating. Amaya would blow me kisses and reach out to the phone for a cuddle, which was a little bit heartbreaking.”

Sam didn’t get to celebrate her birthdays. Amaya lost her first tooth, learned to crawl and Marlow was a master at potty training.

“So many firsts happened without me,” laughs Sam.

“They both seemed to grow up a lot while I was away, but thank goodness I got home for Amaya’s first steps. Jay and her on Saturday morning, she was able to walk with Amaya from the couch and then back to Jay. A few days later, she was walking everywhere and she has a lot on her to-do list, so we’re busier than ever!”

Sam is the first to admit the London trip left her exhausted – three months on, she’s still catching up on emails and sleep! So it’s no surprise then that she has been counting down to this summer break, where she’ll be fitting in as much rest and relaxation as possible while spending quality time with her little ones. One of the things she’s most looking forward to is tucking the kids into bed each night.

“It’s such a novelty being able to read stories and sing bedtime songs, because usually I’m working and I miss that part of the kids’ days. Marlow was so happy that I picked him up from daycare on a Monday and put him in bed. It showed me how important that is to him.”

On the flipside, however, Sam knows she’s fortunate her evening work hours allow her to spend mornings with her kids. She’s careful to make sure that amid the chaos of getting everyone dressed, fed and ready, she fits in something playful.

“Whether it’s drawing pictures with the new felts that Santa gave them, bouncing on the trampoline or eating fresh strawberries we planted together in the garden, I try to do something that’s purely fun and just for the kids. I don’t want them to feel rushed or stressed. I want our mornings together to be special.”

And this summer break is particularly exciting for Sam and her Dutch fiancé, as they’re welcoming Jay’s dad Herman and his wife Claire from the Netherlands. It’s the first time since Sam and Jay got together four years ago that his family has been able to come to New Zealand, and the couple can’t wait to introduce them to their grandchildren and take them on a classic Kiwi road trip. After celebrating Christmas at home, they’re heading to the South Island to see the sights and visit Sam’s family.

“Because of Covid, Jay has had to wait all this time to see them and show them his Kiwi family,” tells Sam. “We want to make it super-special. We’ve hired a minivan and we’ll go to Tekapo, Aoraki Mount Cook, Wanaka and Queenstown, before staying at my Aunty Sonia’s farm and then my parents’ place in Milton. I can’t wait. I know it’s going to be so much fun.”

Being back on the land where she grew up is undoubtedly Sam’s happy place, and she’s loved introducing her own kids to the joy of horses, tractor rides and pottering around in the paddocks.

“I love watching them learn and discover,” she enthuses. “I love playing little games with them and I share in their excitement for all the little things in life. But I also love going to work, so there’s not a day that goes by where I’m not grateful that I get to do both. It’s a really great combo.”

Marlow sometimes asks his mom why she must go to work when she could stay home with him. Sam shares the story. “I tell him I go to work because Mummy needs to tell other people about what’s going on in the world, about what’s important and what we need to be thinking about. He truly gets that. He gets that I love my job.”

Sam credits her supportive partner and their excellent nanny Sue for ensuring the household runs smoothly, but she’s the first to admit there are plenty of times when things don’t always go to plan. “I honestly thought I couldn’t be busier when it was just Marlow, but then you add another little person and, whoa, it’s full on! I try to streamline things and I am an organised person, but there are certainly moments of stress.”

She jokes that it can be difficult to find time to have a conversation with Jay, but they were able to enjoy a romantic dinner together to celebrate their fourth anniversary. “That was so lovely. We went to Josh Emett’s Onslow restaurant, we drank Champagne and really reconnected. We keep saying we should do it more often, so the plan is to get it in our diaries – if it’s in there, it will happen for sure.”

And it’s that busyness that has meant Sam and Jay are no closer to tying the knot than they were when Jay first proposed back in December 2020. She’d love to be saying “I do” this summer, but the couple haven’t quite found the time for wedding planning. Instead, they’ll make do as guests when Sam’s co-host Mike marries his fiancée Heidi Ettema.

“I did wonder if we could just replicate their wedding since they’ve made the planning look so easy,” Sam says with a laugh. “But that’s okay – Jay and I are happy waiting a bit longer. We know it’ll be super-special when it finally happens.”