By Dr. Greg Allen
Keep your child connected: This recommendation was always a necessity. Kids who show risky behavior or get in trouble are often those who live in a world that is disconnected from their parents. It is usually because parents have busy schedules or kids are living a private lifestyle. Parents often let their teenagers do whatever they want as long as they get good grades. But we’ve learned that achievement and financial success as sole life goals, do not lead to a fulfilled life. In areas with higher socio-economic status, youth depression, anxiety and suicide attempts are more common. It is important to balance the goal of success with our children’s development of character.
We may need to adjust our parenting style to stay connected with our children. How are your child/teens doing? Do they cope well with school expectations? Do they have a good social life? Are they friends you can trust?
Do they play well with other children?
Would they welcome a new student that just moved to the area?
How confident are they?
What do they think of their life as meaningful? How do they feel about their extracurricular activities? What are their extracurricular activities? Are they too numerous?
It is important to choose extracurricular activities that are in line with what the child enjoys and excels at; confidence comes from competence
Freedom4U offers a program called Service Leadership where teens are able to identify and lead groups towards an activity that they find interesting and passionate. Students can develop leadership skills and learn about communication, teamwork, and organization.
Together time It can’t be stated enough regarding the value of a parent and child/teen having time together. Find something you can do together. As often as possible, eat dinner together. The result of valued time together will be the creation in your child of a reality — that they are safe, confident, protected and valued. They matter. These messages can positively contradict other cultural messages they might receive, that; they ‘aren’t enough.’
Be a role-model
I’m sure you’ve heard the expression; practice what you preach. You could also say, live what you preach.
Live a life of integrity, honesty and authenticity, while committing to your best. Balance stress with relaxation and fun.
Kids follow what you do and not what you say, whether we like it.
Parents who use alcohol, marijuana or other substances to cope with stress, relax or check out can’t expect their kids not to do likewise.
I was expecting to see the trainer train my dog how to be a good dog. It surprised me that I was the main focus of the training. The parenting strategies are similar.
The better the parent manages their own mind, emotions, and behavior then their child can also.
Our life must be managed with the aim of balance.
Freedom4U, Hearts Respond and the LA Harbor Area will host a Family Fun Day and Point Fermin Day in order to help economically disadvantaged kids. By attending and by being a supportive participant, you can help these children. Check out the links below for more information.
Dr. Greg Allen, a licensed therapist in Palos Verdes Estates & San Pedro. (drgregallen.com). He is the founder and director Freedom4U. This non-profit seeks to guide young people towards their purpose in life and reduce risky behaviors. (freedomcommunity.com). He is also the director of Hearts Respond which supports LA Harbor families on social-emotional, creative and other areas. (heartsrespond.com). Pen
